I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
