Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
