What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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