yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize