Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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