Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
