who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
