please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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