So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
