On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
