scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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