You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize