Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
