I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
