Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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