I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
