once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize