peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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