are you still at the devil's house?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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