I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
"it" just moved
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
