Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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