pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
