I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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