Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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