Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
