shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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