Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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