yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
That's intense
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
