it was like eating out sand paper
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
