i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
