Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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