Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
