ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
