If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
