What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
