what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
