oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
