Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
