I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So. Much. Porn.
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