there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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