Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
