pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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