just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My boob is missing a layer of skin
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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