How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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