This girl is more easily done than said...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
