I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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