i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
