VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
