I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
