just tell him i said nine months
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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