Don't you send me to vm
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
