is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
