Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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