Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Still dying that you shit outside
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
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