Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
