did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Your penis caused this!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
