What did we do last night that was yellow?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
