The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
