One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i out mim tonsoeep
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