so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
