they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
