just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
