Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
