I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize