So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We got so high we made milksteak
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
