If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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