That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Randomize
