Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So much rum. So many feels.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
