I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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