everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
