where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
