i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize