I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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