all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
