just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
