I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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