My brain says no but my pants say off.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
