Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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